New shoes, new binders, new phone. This year, add one more thing to the list.
Every August we stock up on the visible stuff: backpacks, notebooks, a fresh pair of sneakers. But the biggest change in most kids’ school year isn’t in the supply aisle. It’s in their pocket. A new school year means more screen time for homework and socializing, new group chats, new apps, and new friend requests from people they’ve never met in person. It’s the perfect moment to add a digital safety setup to your back-to-school routine, and it takes less time than a run to the store.
At E3RF, protecting children is our mission, and we want to be honest with you about why this matters more than it used to.
Why now?
The threats aimed at kids online have grown sharply. In 2025, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) received more than 50,000 reports of financial sextortion, an average of roughly 137 every single day, and a steep jump from the year before. The FBI reports that offenders most often pose as a peer, build trust quickly, and coerce a young person – frequently boys ages 14 to 17 – into sending an explicit image, then demand money under threat of exposure.
There’s a newer twist, too: artificial intelligence. NCMEC has recorded a surge of more than 1,300% in a single year in reports involving AI-generated imagery, including “nudify” apps that classmates use to fabricate explicit pictures of one another. A child no longer has to send anything to become a target.
For the fuller story of how sextortion actually works, written by one of our own 17-year-old interns, for her peers, see last month’s sextortion piece. It’s worth reading yourself, and worth sharing with your teen.
The point isn’t to frighten you. It’s this: the tools that protect kids are simple, free, and mostly take an afternoon to put in place.
First: does your child need the phone yet?
Everything below assumes your child already has a smartphone. If they don’t yet, hear this clearly: the most protective choice available to you is to wait. There’s no prize for being early. Every year you delay is another year of maturity and judgment before your child is handed a device built to hold their attention and to open a door to the entire internet, and everyone on it. Plenty of families are choosing to hold off, or to start with a basic phone that calls and texts but doesn’t run apps.
At the same time, a smartphone isn’t the enemy. It’s a tool your child will eventually need to use, and use responsibility. The goal isn’t to fear it or to forbid it forever; it’s to introduce it slowly and deliberately, with the guardrails below already in place. Wait as long as you reasonably can. When the day does come, treat the phone as something you’re teaching your child to handle, like a (driving) learners permit, not just something you’re handing over.
The 20-minute setup
Sit down with your child and their devices, together, not secretly. Doing it side by side turns it into a conversation instead of a search.
- Take stock of the apps — then cut the list down. Have your child walk you through every app and what it’s for; new chat and video apps appear constantly, and you can’t guide what you don’t know about. Then be willing to pare the list back hard. Here’s what most parents don’t realize: nearly any app with a direct-messaging or chat feature can be used to reach and groom a child, including ones that look perfectly innocent, like Pinterest. There are very few apps we’d call truly safe. Fewer apps means fewer open doors, so keep only the ones your child genuinely needs, and be especially cautious with anything that lets strangers message them.
- Get on the apps with them. For every platform your child does keep, make your own account and connect with them there: follow, friend, add. You don’t have to comment or hover; just being present is one of the simplest deterrents there is, and it gives you an honest window into the spaces where they spend their time.
- Turn on parental controls. Both iPhone (Screen Time) and Android (Family Link) let you approve new app downloads, set quiet hours, and filter content.
- Lock down privacy settings. On every social and gaming app, set profiles to private, turn off location sharing, and limit who can send direct messages or friend requests to people your child already knows. A public profile is an open door.
- Strengthen the basics. Set strong, unique passwords and turn on two-factor authentication for their main accounts and email.
- Use a dedicated safety service. Beyond the built-in tools, it’s worth researching two kinds of paid options. The first are monitoring services that use AI to scan across your child’s apps and messages and alert you only when something concerning shows up – predators, explicit images, bullying, or signs of distress – rather than showing you everything. The second are network-level services, including some faith-based plans, that filter harmful content before it ever reaches the phone and can’t be easily deleted or worked around. Compare a few, read independent reviews, and pick what fits your family and your child’s age.
No tool replaces the conversation. Think of these as one more layer, not a substitute for the trust you’re building. Settings and services drift over time, so plan to revisit all of this once a semester.
The part that matters more than any setting
Here’s the truth no app store sells: controls slow attackers down, but your relationship is what actually protects your child. In sextortion cases where the connection was known, NCMEC found that the overwhelming majority of public reports came from the young people themselves or their parents – kids who felt safe enough to say something.
So have the conversations that make that possible. Tell your child, in plain words: If anything online ever scares you or makes you uncomfortable, you can come to me no matter what it is, and no matter what you did. You will not be in trouble. Predators depend on shame and secrecy. You can take both away in a single sentence.
If it happens: the counterintuitive rules
If your child is ever targeted, the instinct is to panic, delete everything, and make it disappear. Almost every one of those instincts is the wrong move. Teach these ahead of time:
- It is not their fault. The blame belongs to the offender. Say this first, and mean it.
- Don’t pay, and don’t send more. Complying rarely stops the demands; it usually invites more of them.
- Save the evidence before blocking. Screenshot the account, the username, and the messages. This is what helps investigators, and it’s the step people skip because blocking feels safer in the moment.
- Then block and stop responding.
- Report it using the resources below.
Where to get help
If explicit images of your child, or images made to look like them, are online or being threatened:
- Take It Down — TakeItDown.ncmec.org. A free NCMEC tool that helps remove or block explicit images of anyone under 18. It works from a digital “fingerprint” of the image, so the picture itself never leaves your child’s device.
- NCMEC CyberTipline — CyberTipline.org or 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678). To report exploitation, blackmail, or online enticement.
- FBI — tips.fbi.gov. To report the crime to federal investigators.
One more thing worth knowing: a new federal law, the TAKE IT DOWN Act, now requires online platforms to remove non-consensual intimate images, including AI-generated ones, after a valid request. Parents have more standing today than they did even a year ago.
The bottom line
You already do this instinctively in the physical world. You teach your kids to buckle up, to lock the door, to never get in a stranger’s car. The digital version is newer, but it’s the same parenting. Twenty minutes of setup and one honest conversation, added to your back-to-school list, can change how a whole year goes.
Welcome back to school. Let’s make it a safe one.
Everything above, on one page — ready to print, save, or share. Download the Digital Safety Setup for Parents.
Sources: Federal Bureau of Investigation; National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC); TAKE IT DOWN Act (2025).